Is It My Day To Choose?
July 10, 2007
“Is it my day to choose?” This phrase is often heard in our house and has been for the last 4 years.
It all started one day as I wrestled to get the four boys (4 year-old twins, a 2 year-old and a 6 month-old) into the car at the park and I overheard a mom of an “only” ask what he would like to have for lunch. This was a question I could not ask since I would end up with three answers and probably a fight. I realized that my boys were losing the chance to make basic decisions — PBJ or Mac ‘n Cheese? Park or Bikes?, SpongeBob or Magic School Bus? Simple decisions that shouldn’t always be dictated by me. Still, I didn’t want the “majority” to dominate and the thought of keeping track of who of the four decided what last made my overtired mind hurt.
Then, I had an inspiration. Each of the boys were assigned a specific day of the week to make choices. Anything that had to be decided on that day was up to that boy. Maybe not all the same decisions were made everyday but over the years it all evens out (or so I tell my boys). There is still grumbling but I can easily shut down arguments with “It’s his day.”
This policy had the added bonus of bestowing instant status on my then 6-month-old — even he had his day to choose (decisions interpreted by Mommy, of course.) And now that he is four, it is fun to watch him savor his power to choose Dora instead of Justice League when he and his brothers sit down to watch TV on Friday (his day).
Sometimes, I do wonder though, will my 6-year-old grow up and feel Monday is his favorite day, not quite remembering why?
Wow. A guest blogger. Great to hear from you, NSAM, and I appreciate the decision to allow the kids to make choices. They will, eventually, have to make them without you. When would it be better to learn? Now, of course. Coup for you!
Awesome Mom - great post, and welcome.
Love the fact that already you are concerned about the future mental health issues your kids will face - the right of every parent is to screw up their kids they way THEY want to (so I’m told).
As for “my day to choose”, my friends and I are of the long-held belief that on your birthday you are golden. You get to choose EVERYTHING. You can’t get caught out when playing sport that day. You can sit wherever you want. You can pretty much get away with anything, as long as at the end of your request (with manners!), you drop a “birthday boy!”. Doesn’t sit with the police sadly (working on that legislation), but works great with family and friends once they are educated to the rights of the birthday boy.
…could make it hard with twins, though… ;)
As for sharing the choice - that is a great lesson you are teaching there… along with the “with great power comes great responsibility” spiderman lesson, too…
Sheer brilliance. Gotta use this!