Twittering Fool’s Updates for week of 2007-08-20

• Parents, potential lead hazard in vinyl bibs. Toys ‘R Us pulled several brands off the shelf for testing. http://tinyurl.com/25ayr9 #
• Ever wonder what it’s like in the NYC subways? This sums it up. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/390658591.html #
• Parents: Tips to translating the cryptic messages your kids are sending: http://tinyurl.com/28vapa #
• What is ICE? Tips to add "In Case of Emergency" on your phone: http://tinyurl.com/yqjbo5 #
• Happy Monday. Wazzupp? http://tinyurl.com/ybk58n #
• Monitor your blood glucose? Enter to win a OneTouch UltraMini and/or an Apple iPod Nano. http://www.ultraminicolor.com #
• My 8 yr old son is in ‘Mommy Jail’ today for crimes against the family. If he’s good until noon, he can get out on parole. #
• Feel like mid-life crisis #4 is creeping in. Thinking about becoming a Wild Samoan. #
• Programming my birthday present: Logitech Harmony 670 Universal Remote. Controls groups of A/V devices. Now THIS is a MAN’S REMOTE! #
• Okay, took 45 min to install software, update it twice, gather all the model#s + troubleshoot. But now my Harmony 670 kicks IR ass! #
• Kids are watching "Honey I Blew Up the Kid" and marveling at the giant toddler. Ahh, movie magic. #
• Getting annoyed by cold callers. Wish unsolicited executive recruiters and IT staffing solution salespeople would leave me alone! #
• Hooray! Awesome Mom got her first haircut in a yr + it doesn’t look like ‘old lady hair.’ Very hot. But 4 yr old doesn’t like it. #
• Just caught my 8yr old son watching ‘One Life to Live.’ I said it’s not appropriate + switched TV to ‘Mr. Rogers.’ Son screams at me. #
• After just 5 min and my assurances that Daddy watched Mr. Rogers as a kid, son seems to become interested just as episode ends. #
• Friggin corporate lawyers turned my Scope of Work into legal gibberish. Been waiting 7 weeks for this? Grr! #
• Lawyer speak: "Persuant…" "Hereunder…" "Without limiting the foregoing…" WTF? Somebody is overpaid. Need Universal Translator. #
• Channeling my inner copywriter. Trying to be ‘pithy’ about financial services. Ewww #
• Yeah! Son is riding his bike confidently w/ no training wheels. Only 3 more kids to go. #
• My 6yr old teaching me how to add to his Lego.com wish list. He’s got over 60 toys added. #
• 8yr old son is wailing about how I make his life miserable. (I asked how his day was.) Grrr. #
• Kids keep blaring High School Musical from separate bed rooms. Head hurts. IT’S CLOBBERING TIME! #
• 8yr old son is wailing about how I make his life miserable. (I asked how his day was.) Grrr. #
• 8yr old mouth to his mom: "A true mom would let us stay up." (Waaaaaaaiiilll) #
• Happy Friday from New Jersey. First sunny, warm day in nearly a week. #
• Spent first three hours of the work day solving other people’s problems. Need to get on my own work now. #
• Spent two hours wordsmithing pithy financial Web site copy. Head hurts. #
• 8yr old mouth angry at me because I wouldn’t buy 2 pound bag of sugar gummy things. Now I’m a meanie and he wont let it go. #
• 8yr old mouths wailing, now in stereo. One is upstairs. One downstairs. Both annoying. #
• Reminiscing about Bob Bachlund, his ‘chicken wing’ and the ‘war ‘against pre-G.I.Joe Sgt Slaughter. Remember what I’m talking about? #