Doctor? Lawyer? IT Professional? Starving Artist?

Fascinating conversation going on over at this article. The author questions whether he is a bad parent about the career advice he’s giving his son.

My son is a high school senior with an A-minus average who takes mostly advance placement and honors courses. He loves the challenge of math, and aced a calculus AP exam, scoring a 5, the top grade. Yet, his true passion is composing classical music, and all of the colleges he’s considering offer strong programs in classical music composition.

While many parents steer their kids toward college programs, including those in IT management and computer sciences, that promise relatively steady and lucrative careers, my wife and I have been my son’s biggest champions in his pursuit of his passion, though we know that few people earn a good living composing classical music.

I have to admit, my instinct is to be practical and recommend getting a ‘decent’ paying job with some relative job stability. There’s nothing fun about being a starving artist. Maybe that’s nice for your twenties, but you’ve got to think long term.

Most of us don’t have obscenely wealthy parents. As a single income household with kids and increasing demands, my focus has to be on income/stability, not passion. (In my beat down humble opinion.)

What do you think? Please answer the poll below:

Also, please leave a comment. But please no angry/accusing rants. Just share what your situation is and what you think is realistic. This is an important issue.

Thanks!
-BD

U.S. Air Force C-17 Cargo Plane will fly over Main Street

I saw this interesting public notice today: “U.S. Air Force C-17 Cargo Plane and other aircraft will fly over Main Street as part of activities on Public Safety Community Day.”

As a parent, I have to wonder if it’s wise to have enormous aircraft flying at 1,000 feet over a street festival packed with families? Plus, at that altitude, can people on the ground actually see anything? I’d rather get up close and crawl inside than watch a spec flying overhead.

I realize the chance of something going wrong is low, but still I wonder. We’ve all seen video of crashes at air shows. Plus, this is a state we’ve had safety incidents, most notably:
“National Guard Agrees to Halt Exercises After Strafing Elementary School” during night training exercises.

What do you think? Am I right or overthinking it. Please answer my poll below. Thanks!

Please Answer Quick Poll About Bullying

Bullying is a terrible thing and can leave long lasting emotional scars.

Please take a moment to answer these questions. Thank you.

Related links:

• Pew Report on Cyberbullying
• Cnet article summarizing the Pew report
• Tips to Avoid Being Bullied
• Cyber Bullying Statistics
• Children bullying each other online
• Podcast Episode 5 “Fitting In”

New Study About Harassment Online and Offline By Peers

According to a new study by Pew Internet & American Life Project:

One in three teenagers say they’ve been bullied in some way online, but two-thirds of teens still believe they’re more likely to be harassed offline.

A peer that publishes private information about another teen is the most common form of cyberbullying reported.

The simplicity of being able to replicate and quickly transmit digital content makes bullying quite easy.

Key take away: Few communications are private anymore. The ubiquity of cameras and video, plus the ease and diversity of online communication/distribution (i.e. email, instant message, social networks) makes it all to easy to have information published without your teen’s permission.

It is critical to educate your teens not to disclose information about themselves or others online. If someone has violated that, you must act swiftly to put an end to it before the information propogates.

Please answer these quick polls and definitely read the Pew report (link below).

Related links:

• Pew Report on Cyberbullying
• Cnet article summarizing the Pew report
• Tips to Avoid Being Bullied
• Cyber Bullying Statistics
• Children bullying each other online
• Podcast Episode 5 “Fitting In”

Is it Time for Your Parents to Stop Driving?

Every few months, one of these appears on the news. An elderly driver has a horrific car accident. On Valentine’s Day in Florida, this eighty year old woman one was caught on tape slamming into the motor vehicle office where she was scheduled to retake her drivers exam.

Every time one of these accidents occurs, it’s usually the same excuse — the driver got confused and stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.

“According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), in 2002 there were 19.9 million licensed drivers age 70 and older in the U.S., yet they accounted for 12% of traffic fatalities, 12% of all vehicle occupant fatalities and 16% of pedestrian fatalities. Collision rates per mile driven increase after age 70 and increase more rapidly after age 80.”

Those of us with parents who are active drivers will eventually have to wrestle with this issue: Asking your parent to consider giving up their mobility and freedom for the sake of their safety and others.

Be prepared for a wide range of negative reactions: anger, resentment, dismissive
It’s only natural. Who wouldn’t defend their freedom and independence?

Sure, every person is different. Many are fortunate to have great control over their body and minds at later ages. But for others, the reality is physical/mental impairments and medications can influence driver judgment and reduced reaction time.

So what to do?

If your parent is insistent on maintaining his/her mobility, maybe it’s time to relocate them. If you can’t have them live with you, active adult communities are really nice places. I wish I lived in the place my in-laws live.

The residents have access to all sorts of great facilities and activities. They can walk short distances to the community club house. Group trips are frequently organized.

Reduce the need for trips out of the home/off the grounds.

• Order groceries online and have them delivered to the home. Internet grocers are making a comeback.
• Do all banking online so there’s no need for trips to the bank and post office. Electronic transfers and bill pay are extremely convenient and safer than ever.
• Get them active in a hobby. Gardening, documenting your family history for their grandchildren, etc.

Point is, you can’t force your parent to give up driving. It is a decision they need to make. But if you can present solutions that make it reasonable, hopefully you make an effective case to get your parent to voluntarily comply.

Of course, if your parent is a hazard to others (e.g. He/she has had many accidents or near misses), you have to be forceful and put a stop to it before someone is killed. Talk to the motor vehicle department or Police Department to get the license revoked.

Please share your experience.
Thanks.
Roland

Resources:
SeniorDrivers.org

AAA Safety Tips for Older Drivers

Hey, tooth fairy? What’s the going rate per tooth?

So my wife and I have started down the long, slippery slope of lying to our children: Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy.

My seven year olds have been losing their baby teeth at about a rate of one every month. Thankfully, they’re falling out naturally, not being knocked out.

My little guys are very excited about losing their teeth. They come wake me up early the next morning to show me their treasure. Surprisingly no one seems disturbed by the fact some mysterious creature sneaks around at night, breaks into our house, enters their dark bedroom and reaches under their pillow.

So how much are we supposed to slip under the pillow at night? Cheap daddy (that’s me) keeps suggesting a quarter. My wife started at a buck. Now she’s upped it to two bucks. (Grrr) She says some other mom she knows gives $20 per tooth. (Yikes!)

This is going to get expensive fast:

20 “baby” teeth
x 4 kids
x $2 per lie tooth
= $160 assuming there’s no need to adjust for inflation over time.

What are your thoughts on all this? Please answer my poll or post a comment.
Thanks.
Roland

What’s in a name?

I was browsing MySpace — yikes, what a mess — to stir up inspiration. I stumbled across a few posts of prospective moms asking input on baby names. It stopped me in my tracks. Bear with me while I share my experience.

(Flash back to the seventies.)

As I child, I was teased often for the name Roland. (It’s incredible the number of ways other stupid kids could make fun of it/me. I even begged my parents to change my name to Ronald before entering High School because I didn’t want more hassles. I seriously thought about using my middle name in High School just because I wanted a ‘normal’ name like the other guys, i.e. Michael, Anthony, David, Scott, Eric, James, Paul, Kevin, etc. (I think every class had at least three of each.)

It wasn’t until my twenties that I became comfortable with my name. I still get angry thinking back on how miserable others made me feel as a child.

(Fast forward to the late nineties.)

When my wife and I were planning to have children, I insisted we stick with strong names. No cute spellings. No obscure names. No names of months (April, August), colors (Magenta, Cyann, Sienna, Chartreuse), moods (Harmony, Sunny) or fruit (Apple). I wanted one syllable names that didn’t rhyme with any body parts. She agreed.

(Skip to 2007)

We have 4 boys, ages 3.75 to 7.75. We try to do everything possible to make our four boys feel strong and confident and remove annoying obstacles. I want them to have a good childhood to remember positively.

In my humble opinion…

I believe some parents get wrapped up in a weird distortion field where they believe a cute and truly unique name is best. But sometimes they fail to think about the baggage associated with names.

Before you start venting about raising children to be self-confident and thick skinned so name calling wont affect them, consider this. Being a child now is much harder than ever before. Children have enough to learn (education / social skills / physical skills) without having to be knocked down in confidence about their names.

It’s sad, but true. Other children can be terribly cruel, whether in Elementary or High School. It’s heart breaking to explain to my son why another child is constantly mean to them. I’ve had to start having those conversations lately. But that’s a different topic.

By the way, I know I’m not alone in this opinion. I know a half dozen adults who don’t use their first names. They’ve substituted nick names or middle names because they hate their first names.

What are your thoughts? I’d really like to hear your opinions on baby naming.
Roland

Related links:
Check out BabyNamer.com. They have a searchable database. Search on a name and click on “Teasing Drawbacks” (used to be called “baggage”) to see negative connotations associated with a proper name.

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