Christmas Tree Lights

One of my 8yr olds had been asking me for months to decorate the house exterior lights for Christmas. I respectfully declined and dodged the bullet repeatedly.

Truth is, last year I attempted to cover a tree with lights. Nearly broke a leg and vowed “frig this!”

So while my creativity and enthusiasm for house decorating is a zero on the scale, here’s someone makes me feel even more inadequate. Enjoy!

Santa Ate My Cookie

Finally got photographic evidence that Santa exists. Shot this in my living room. We’ll get Big Red on video next year for sure.

Track Big Red Tonight Using NORAD’s Santa Tracker

Be sure to surf by NORAD Tracks Santa tonight with the kids before bedtime.

In past years, they posted little videos tracking Santa from around the world. Read about their history.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah!

Virgin Mobile’s 2004 Chrismahanukwanzakah commercial:

It’s okay if you’re a Muslim, a Christian or a Jew,
It’s okay if you’re agnostic and you don’t know what to do,
An all-inclusive celebration,
No contractual obligation,
Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you (and pagans too!)

In some ways we’re all monkeys,
Well, maybe just a smidgen,
I’m a Scientologist,
That’s kind of a religion,

Whose faith is the right one,
It’s anybody’s guess,
What matters most is camera phones for $20 less.

And there’s never any hidden fees,
Oh what a joyous day,
No commitments means I’m proud to go both ways!

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to you,
This is gonna be the best Chrismahanukwanzakah ever!

Eel-powered Christmas Tree

Originally found this on Reuters. An aquarium in Japan is featuring an electric eel that’s powering the lights on a Christmas tree.

Scored at the Holiday Party

I attended our company party yesterday. Same restaurant as last year. Much more sedate this time around.

We used to do Secret Santa. I flippin hate that. But the last two years someone livened it up and made it more like the first Chrismas Party episode of NBC’s The Office. Everyone brings a $20 gift, stands around, and responds to random questions that cause you to exchange gifts.

Last year the two gifts most folks kept trading for were bottles of wine. When the dust settles, I scored a travel thermos. (But I do use it!)

So this year I surfed over to watch Gary Vanerchuk at WineLibrary TV to help me select a decent wine under $20 to contribute. Then used my man-skills to decorate the bottles with ribbons. My strategy was to keep trading to get it back.

At the gift exchange, the questions range from sublime to near scandalous. But now I know who has body piercings, been arrested, had one night stands and wears a thong to work. I’ll file that info away in my PDA for future reference.

Gift cards, rum, teas and powdered chocolate all passed around me. There were a few tense moments as a black heavily sequined messenger bag got too close for comfort. But when all was done, I scored a DVD 3-pack of Groundhog Day/Ghostbusters/Stripes. Freakin’ sweet! And “that’s a fact, jack!”

Don’t Drink Too Much at the Office Christmas/Holiday Party

eWeek so kindly published a list of stupid things you should not do at your company’s Christmas holiday party: “10 Office Holiday Party Landmines to Avoid.” eWeek even put together a cute slide show to help illustrate their top ten list.

I can distill their essay into the following quick guidelines:

• Don’t be stupid
• Don’t say anything stupid
• Don’t dress stupid
• Don’t do anything stupid
• Don’t bring uninvited stupid people

I would add ‘don’t be photographed doing anything stupid.’

Look, common sense should prevail. It’s not a time to get drunk and cut loose in front of your bosses and colleagues. Be smart, be sober, be polite. Let some other clown make a fool of herself/himself.

To get you in the spirit, be sure to check out the song “I drank too much at my office Christmas party” by The Alice Project.

Have fun!

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